Lullaby of a Leader: The Journal of Spot Conlon
by Chloe Chamberleign
Summary: Ever wonder what Spot's life was like before he became the infamous leader of Brooklyn? Read the lost pages of our favorite Brooklyn leader's most private diary as Spot tells the story of how he came to America, growing up a Conlon, and becoming one of the most powerful street leaders of his day. Just don't tell him you've read this, he'd soak ya ;)
1. Chapter 1

Dear Journal, **October 1, 1889 New York, Ellis Island**

I am sitting here on the wooden suitcase, the one with the metal straps. Ma says the wicker one is too frail for me to rest on. I feel like we've waited here for a hundred years, although it's only been three hours since we got off the boat. My older brother, Sean, says I should just deal with it and quit complaining. It takes a long time to get "registered." I have no idea what that means. I know that when you enter the world, you are born, but when you enter America, here in Ellis Island, you are registered. I know it has something to do with all the papers Ma is carrying. It also has to do with a lot of waiting.

Sean finds out a lot of stuff 'cause he wanders all over this place. He is very nosy. He picks up gossip. He brings back horrible stories about something called "inspection" that they will have us go through in the next room. If we fail inspection, we will be kept back, forced to wait, or even sent back home. And then when will we ever see Dah again?

It's been nearly two years since we've seen him. He came to America before us to make enough money to buy our tickets on the ship. Every month he went to the post to exchange his American money for ten euros that he sent to us for our voyage from Galway to New York. That is where the boat left from - Galway Bay, Ireland.

But first we had to travel there. For we are from Dublin, a city in Ireland. I will tell you more about that later. My name is Aidan Conlon. I am Irish. I am twelve. I am a middle child of eleven. Jillian is twenty-one and is married to Justin Brady, an American. Jillian came with Dah to America two years ago, where she met Justin. They were married and live near Dah. Then there's my oldest brother, Seamus, who is nineteen and engaged to Patsy Donegal. Patsy is very nice and gives me penny candy if I'm good. She came over with us to be reunited with Seamus. I'm very happy to be having her as a new sister. Third is my older sister Mary. Mary is very pretty and likes to look at herself a lot. Sometimes Ma has to drag her away from the looking-glass here in the waiting room. Mary fusses over her hair, but I don't see what's wrong with it. She is what Ma calls "dizzy."

Fourth, is my older sister Killian who is seventeen. She and Ma are always arguing with each other. They get into fights all the time. Back home, she would sneak out with her friends at night and Dah would always be waiting up for her. My brothers and sisters and I would press our ears against the door to listen to hear what they were saying. It was always the same argument over and over again. She is a troublemaker, and Ma and Dah worry about her.

Fifth are my fifteen year old older sisters, Kiley and Riley. They are twins, and look exactly alike. They even wear their hair and dress the same. But Riley is a bit more shy. They get on my nerves because they are so perfect compared to me. They always do well in school. I can tell Ma favors them. They don't get into trouble. Sometimes Dah can't even tell them apart. When he's trying to get one of their attention he just pretends to cough and mutters "iley" when he can't tell them apart. Oh, and they're so good it makes me wanna scream. Whenever Ma makes black and white pudding, which I hate, I let them eat it, and then they get MY dessert! It's just unfair.

Directly after the twins is Sean. We sometimes call him Seany, which he hates with passion. He likes to get into all kinds of trouble. And he especially likes torturing Seamus, which results in Seamus coming after him. Ma has to scold Sean a lot for causing trouble. Not like Killian trouble, but stuff like putting bugs in the twins' bed, which I don't really appreciate because I share a bed with them. But I'm pretty close with him since we're a year apart; he is thirteen.

After Sean is me. I'm the seventh child. I like helping Ma in the kitchen sometimes if I'm feeling extra helpful. But I am the pickiest eater in my family, and that drives Ma crazy. She makes a big scene over me shoving my plate away. And then Dah makes me sit at the table until I've eaten my cold dinner. He just sits at the table, reading the paper and smoking his pipe so I can't sneak off. If he's real frustrated with me, after two hours of sitting, he walks over, takes my spoon, scoops up the food, and forces it down my throat. Or sometimes he just tells me to go to bed hungry. Whenever that happens, sometimes Jillian, who has been working, sneaks into the room I share with some of my siblings and secretly gives me an apple or something. I'm grateful to her.

After Sean is Kathleen, but we call her Katie for short. Katie is eleven and what Ma calls a "dreamer." She always loves reading. She likes to sing and dance and put on plays for us. And she has soft brown hair that she loves to brush, almost as much as Mary. Katie is always getting out of cleaning.

Behind Katie is Michael. He has several nicknames. We call him Mikey, and his friends call him Mike. But Ma calls him "sweetie-boy." It's probably because he has a big heart. He is Ma's favorite boy, I can tell. He's good, but not painful good like the twins. He is eight, and gets along with everyone. He is always happy and optimistic. I'm not kidding, he could try out for Jesus in a play if he wanted to. He has the mind of a child in a sense that everything is interesting to him. He doesn't really fit in with any of his friends back home. And no matter how hard you tried, it is impossible to be mean to him, so nobody ever is. If someone is mean to him, that person has to answer to me and all of my sisters and brothers, and that is like asking for a death sentence. Even Mary would probably make you die by like perfume or something. So nobody messes with him.

Then there's Kaitlin, little Kaitlin. She is the only child in our family with golden hair. But it's beautiful. She looks like she could belong to another family with her blonde hair and brown eyes, differing from the rest of my family's blue or green eyes and auburn hair. She doesn't talk much, and when she does, it's very quiet. She blushes when she does have something to say. When our great-aunt Maggie was visiting and helping Ma bathe the younger ones, she pointed to Kaitlin and said not so quietly, "When is that little girl going to go home?" Ma had scooped up a crying Kaitlin and explained that she belonged to us. She had gotten our grandmother on Dah's side's hair. Grandma Fiona had blonde hair like Kaitlin's, and dark brown eyes. Kaitlin is six, and is a bit slow when it comes to school work. She reads letters wrong sometimes, and left and right get jumbled up in her head. She whispers to me that words remind her of alphabet soup. So I read to her.

After Kaitlin, is the youngest, Liam, who is two. Liam cries a lot, and one time Mary was rocking him and he wouldn't shut up. So I begged her to let me hold him. She gave up and gave him to me. He was still crying. So I held him and hummed a lullaby to him real nice, and I put him in the hall closet. Mary took him out of there very fast. I didn't understand why, his cries were muffled from the closet. Mary told me she has pity on my future children. I just tell her to quit being a bitch, in which she tattles on me to Ma who threatens me with "wait until your father gets home!" Then Dah will lecture me a bit, but he really couldn't care less, and pats me on the shoulder for standing up for myself.

I weigh eighty-nine pounds on the butcher scales at the market in Dublin (that is another story how Katie and I sneaked into Jack Taylor's butcher shop). Anyhow I am coming to America. No, not coming. I am finally here. And I am just starting this journal. Ma gave me the journal before we left Dublin. I am writing it in Gaelic, but I swear on the blessed memory of my aunt Heather that a year from now I will be writing in English.

-**Same day, one hour later Registry Room, Ellis Island-**

We are now in the biggest room I have ever been in. There are many aisles. Ma is leaning against Mary with her head on her shoulder and snoring as we wait. Her _scarf_ _gruaige_ has slipped down toward her eyebrow. She looks funny. Katie and I snicker into our hands and wonder if we should fix it for her. Mary says we should fix her scarf by taking it off. She says in New York Irish wives walk around in public with their hair down and not tucked under long scarves. She is sure of this. She says only in the old country is it considered vain for women to show their hair while they're traveling. This must be one of the ideas she picked up in some school group in Dublin where she and all her pretty friends went. The twins slowly take the cloth covering off their hair as well, and help the younger girls with theirs two. The twins think they know everything. What they don't know they make up. But I shouldn't make fun of them. All of Sean's snooping around here has helped us. He told us right before we walked up the stairs to this room that we should step lively and look energetic, because the medical inspectors watch you as you climb the stairs. If you are slow or lame, the doctors might disqualify you. Shut the door to America right in your face. We did well on the stairs. Kiley carried Liam and Riley held Michael and Kaitlin's hand so they wouldn't get lost. Now our line starts to move. The doctors will look at us. Let's hope we pass.

If I ever criticize Killian again may I be struck speechless. May the clouds open up and God strike me dead. Here is what happened and how Killian saved me. The doctors - they come up to you. The women go into a line where there is a nurse as well. I had to stand in the boy's line with Sean in front of me holding Liam. Micheal stood behind me and squeezed my hand when it was my turn. "Good luck," he whispered to me. Liam and Sean made it through ok. The doctor roughly unbuttoned my collar to check for the neck swelling called goiter. He looked in my ears and next checked for bad backs or lameness. The worst part is the eye examination. They take a buttonhook and flip open your eyelid. Liam was screaming and crying when they checked his eyes. So the doctor finished with him quickly because of the tears. There is a bad disease called trachoma and if you have it they send you back. Well, they flipped up my eyelid and then the doctor takes a piece of chalk and spins me around forcefully. The doctor marks a letter on my back. E for eye in English. I have no eye disease at all. The day before we landed a piece of soot from the ship's smokestacks blew into my eye and caused a redness. When the doctor wrote this letter on my back, Ma gave a little scream and looked like she was about to start crying right there like little Liam. I froze. Mary looks like she might faint, but Killian quickly pushes me forward. I will never know how she did it, but faster than Katie can dance a reel she turned my coat with the chalk mark inside out. Before we knew it the man at the last medical table had stamped our papers. We quickly passed through the mental exam. There was an interpreter but Ma became quite tempered when they asked her if she was married. She began munching her lips and then she exploded in Gaelic, "What does this Yankee snake take me for? I stand here with my children and he asks if I am married." That is Ma's main curse, to call someone a snake. Or if she knows their nationality she calls them a Polish snake or a French snake or an Italian snake. In this case she called the American mental inspector a Yankee snake.

Now all our papers are stamped. Sean assures us we are safe. We do not have the letters LPN stamped on any of them. LPN means liable to become a public nuisance. I look to us and wonder: Ma with her fiery hair all wild because of the lice inspection and her ankles swollen from standing so long in so many lines. And my brothers and sisters and Patsy with their honest and hopeful eyes taking in everything. And me, confused, skinnier than ever from throwing up all the way across the Atlantic. I think, how could we ever become a public nuisance? Wait, I gotta stop writing. Our name is being called. Dah must be here! I look over and see him and Jillian with her husband Justin. They look excited to finally see us again. Patsy runs into Seamus' arms and he swings her around and they kiss. I cover Kaitlin's eyes. We rush over and hug Dah, Seamus, Jillian, and Justin, and we are peppered with hugs and kisses. Ma melts into Dah's arms. They haven't seen each other in two years. Ma is doing all she can to keep from crying of happiness. I'm just glad to be off the boat and away from all the waiting.


	2. Chapter 2

**October 2 Lower East Side, Brooklyn 14 Orchard Street**

I feel completely lost. I am not in Ireland, but I don't know where I am. If this is America I don't like it, not one bit. Jillian forbids me to say that I hate it until I have lived here at least two years. She says it's unfair to make up one's mind that quickly.

Well, she might forbid me to say it but I can write it. It actually would take me forever to list all the things I hate, but first of all I hate change. And everything is changed. Even Dah. He no longer wears his beard. Ma is shocked, I can tell. But he says when he lived in Kerry as a young music student he never wore a beard. He says he can still be the same man. I know it disturbs Ma. She keeps muttering some words of Scripture. I don't care about memorizing Scripture, but Jillian reads it everyday as though she might need to recite it at any time. I liked Dah's beard. It was soft and fuzzy and the color of the pale flames in a fire. It was short because of playing the fiddle.

We finally arrive at our small tenement room. I peek in and don't know how all thirteen of us will fit comfortably. Seamus and Patsy have a room right down the hall. Jillian and Justin are a floor below us. There are three small beds in the corner. One bed for Ma and Dah. One bed for Liam, Sean, Kaitlin, Katie, and me. And one bed for the twins, Killian, and Mary. There is a small stove in the other corner and a tiny table, enough to fit three people. The room reeks of spoiled milk, and there is one window. There is no looking-glass. How will Mary survive? Oh, wait I forgot about the hand mirror she carries in her suitcase. Nevermind.

**Later**

I just noticed this heap on a small mattress by the stove. It is a little old man with short white hair and crisp, alert blue eyes. He wears dark suspenders and a page-boy hat like me and my brothers. He looks like a bag of bones, chicken bones, he is so small.

"And where does he sleep?" My Ma's voice is wavy, as it floats on a sea of tears. "Oh, this is Mr. Bobby O'Reilly." Dah's voice is tense. "A nimble shoe-maker and a great genius," my Dah whispered. Ma has always been in awe of those who have studied in the universities. That is why she was so impressed with Justin Brady when Jillian first introduced him. Ma has always dreamed of me or one of my brothers attending one of these universities. But that is impossible, money is scarce. "He's a border, isn't he, Patrick?" Ma asks Dah.

"Yeah, yeah, but a shoe-maker, too!" My ma looks thoughtful. I wonder if she really thinks we are so lucky? Yet all the time Ma keeps saying how lucky we are. And Mary and Killian, too. Dah and Jillian and Justin tell us we will like it here and that there will be food for us, and we won't have to worry about those failing potatoes again. Seamus tells us about how he is working on the docks now. Jillian's husband, Justin, works on the docks as well. They look to me as if I'm too young to know the meaning of lucky. As if I'm as old as my younger siblings. They treat Sean older, even though he's only a year older than me. We are lucky because we escaped the famine and escaped starvation, though we did starve for a while. And we are lucky because Dah left for America and could afford to send for us. We are lucky because we all survived the boat ride over here. I had never seen such suffering as that famine brought. I never dreamed God would allow his children to suffer so. And Ma was determined that we would not suffer like that. We were lucky that we didn't get sick on the boat. I mean really sick. I got sea-sick, but that was about it. The weather had turned cold and damp while we were on the ship, our provisions were running low, and then illness had begun to race its way through the crowded quarters below decks. The first to die was this seven year old girl, just five years younger than me. I watched the seaman pry her from her ma's arms. They trust her up into a sack cloth. The chaplain muttered a prayer, and then they just tossed her over the side. Ma and Mary and Killian had comforted the crying woman. I was too uncomfortable to do anything but watch. So, yes, I guess I am lucky.

But am I lucky to live with a smelly little bag of bones who is incidentally a genius and a shoe-maker? Lucky to have running water in the hall when we had a whole brook running just outside our house in Dublin? Lucky to live in a place that is so dark that when I go to bed at night and wake in the morning I do not believe that there is such thing called a sky? Lucky enough to have the men we passed on our way to the tenement stare lustfully at my older sisters, my ma, and Patsy?

Yes, I am one lucky boy, am I not?

**September 3**

What a day! It is Thursday and Ma finally, after much pleading, allowed Katie, Killian, and I to go out shopping, or else how would we have food to fix for Michael's first birthday dinner in America? So Dah drew up a map for us to the Pig Market on Hester Street. I can't believe they call it the Pig Market, they sell pretty much anything but pig. The place is swollen with thousands of people, mostly immigrants like us. Katie laughs at how there is everything but pigs here - suspenders, pants, hats, spectacles, peaches, chickens, geese, fresh bread, stale bread. And there are soda vendors. We bought a carp, a big fresh-looking fellow. We know how to look in the eye and tell how long it's been dead. And no one ever better try to sell Killian one with a cloudy eye, as the first pushcart boy did. He was about Killian's age. He swore up and down that the carp had just come out of the water. He swore in Gaelic first, then Scottish, and then he finally swore in Welsh. Not one language could convince Killian, but imagine his surprise when Killian speaks back to him in perfect English (at least it sounded that way to me), "What do you take me for, a greenhorn?" As I should have suspected, Killian, Mary, and the twins have been studying English secretly for the last several months. We finally bought a carp from a lady with a pushcart next to the lady who churned horseradish.

It was Katie's idea to get the horseradish. "What will we put on it?" I say. "It is too strong for the carp." "Not for fish," Katie says, "for Mr. O'Reilly. We put it on him." We all laughed. You see, he smells so bad we think horseradish might cut the sickly ripeness of him. I wish he would spend one tenth of the time he does in the cobbler shop at the public baths. We are going tomorrow morning first thing to get nice and clean for Michael's birthday.


	3. Chapter 3

**September 4**

Less than an hour before we celebrate Michael's birthday, so not much time to write. Even the twins have agreed not to try and sneak any time as they usually do their her studies and thus draw attention away from Michael by writing. If it weren't for the food and singing, his birthday would be very boring. There won't be any presents or cake or even a fire in the fire-place. Too expensive. Dah says there is a nice American boy who will come and turn the gaslights on for us. He is a relative of the O'Keefe family. The O'Keefe's children are too young to do it, mostly babies. There is a lot of yelling and squalling. We can hear it through the air shaft. The air shaft is for ventilation for the lavatory and the back bedroom spaces. We should put Mr. O'Reilly in the air shaft. I understand all of the words that the O'Keefe's scream at one another. The grandmother screams a lot of curses. Ma becomes furious.

Jillian has promised to help me learn English, but I will be homeschooled, I think. Jillian will help Ma and Patsy get jobs at the small tailor shop where she works. Mary, Killian, and the twins will be going to work also, probably in one of the sweatshops. Mary would prefer a real factory work. Sean is too young to help Seamus and Justin at the docks. So he has been hired at a nearby mill. Ma and Dah say I am absolutely too young to work in a mill. There is a paper distribution center on Mott Street. We passed near it today when we went for our baths. After our baths we picked up the _arán_ from the baker and then we came back to our horrid little apartment. It started to seem just like the tiniest bit like our old stone cottage in Dublin, for the same smells of the fresh bread started to float through the air. Right now I can smell potatoes in the stew on the stove. The sweet salty smell sweeps through the parlor where I write and I just hope Mr. O'Reilly does not come home too soon and spoil it all.

"Twenty minutes before we celebrate," Kiley just called out. Then Ma will say the birthday blessing.

**Later**

We are now celebrating my little brother's birthday, so I only have a little time to write. Even old Mr. O'Reilly is happy to join in. Dah plays his fiddle I haven't heard him play in two years. Liam is for once not crying. He giggles in his little cradle Ma has made for him. Kaitlin isn't being her usual shy self. She gently takes Mr. O'Reilly's hand, who turns out is not as grumpy as he seems. He's actually quite jolly. Katie grabs my hands before I can object and begins dancing with me. She giggles as I pick her up and spin her around. We're not the only ones. Sean and the twins dance together, as well as Killian and Mary between their giggles. Seamus and Patsy also dance. As well as Jillian and Justin. Both couples look so wonderful. Not that I ever want a girl. I mean, like, uh, nevermind.

Ma's fiery red hair floats in the air as she dances with little Michael who giggles. I think Ma is beautiful, but she always denies it. This is the first time since the famine we have ever had this much fun and happiness. Ma and my sisters even sing along to the music of the fiddle. Their voices are so angelic and beautiful, I can't help but to close my eyes and listen. After all the dancing and after we eat, Ma looks exhausted. I think America is too much for her. I know she is very upset about the new ways here, but Dah not going to Church every Sunday like he used to and shaving his beard and all the women who go out in such scandalous clothes upsets her. I'm actually quite fine with the third thing on the list.

I crawl into bed with Sean, Katie, Kaitlin, and Michael. Liam has his own cradle now so we don't have to worry about squashing him. The twins and Killian help Ma with the dishes and cleaning up. Dah and Mr. O'Reilly smoke and tell us stories of ancient Ireland. Katie particularly likes the one about a Celtic warrior queen named Boudicca, wife of Celtic King Prasutagus who died and left part of his will to the Romans and part to her and her daughters, Isolda and Siora. Then the nasty Roman soldiers came and took their land. But no one pushed around Boudicca. She led an army of Celtic warriors and attacked a Roman capital and beat the Roman soldiers with ease, chopping and hacking them, slaughtering and dismembering them. It was great. But then the Roman's captured her. Instead of giving into them, she swallowed special poison. Katie pretended to be Boudicca and tried hitting Sean and I with pillows. We were bigger and stronger than her so it didn't take much to hold her down and tickle her.

The older girls finished cleaning and crawled into their bed. Jillian and Justin and Seamus and Patsy left to their own tenement rooms. Mr. O'Reilly and Dah went out to meet some friends at work. It was only 5:30, but we all had to get up early tomorrow. Liam began crying. Great, now he cries. Ma knelt by his cradle. And began to hum a lullaby I hadn't heard in a long time. Her voice was high and sounded as enchanting as a siren and as relaxing as an angel's choir. We closed our eyes and listened to the melodious lyrics of an old Irish lullaby.

_Hush child, the darkness will rise will from the deep_

_And carry you down into sleep,_

_Child, the darkness will rise from the deep_

_And carry you down into sleep._

_Guileless son, I'll shape your belief,_

_And you'll always know that your father's a thief._

_And you won't understand the cause of your grief,_

_But you'll always follow the voices beneath._

_Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty, loyalty only to me._

_Chivalrous son, your spirit shall hate her,_

_The flower who married my brother the traiter._

_And you will expose his puppeteer behavior,_

_And you are the proof of how he betrayed her loyalty._

_Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty, loyalty_

_Hush child, the darkness will rise will from the deep_

_And carry you down into sleep,_

_Child, the darkness will rise from the deep_

_And carry you down into sleep._

_Guileless son, Each day you grow older_

_Each moment I'm watching my vengeance unfold_

_For the child of my body, the flesh of my soul_

_Will die in returning the birthright he stole_

Loyalty loyalty loyalty loyalty

_Loyalty loyalty loyalty only to me_

Hush, child, t_he darkness will rise from the deep_

_And carry you down into sleep_

_Child, the darkness will rise from the deep_

_And carry you down into sleep._

Liam has fallen asleep at last. I am grateful to that. Kaitlin, Micheal, Katie, the twins, and Killian have also fallen asleep. Sean is staring at the ceiling. He misses home and his friends. Mary is lying on her side, her eyes slowly closing. Dah was still not back yet. Ma sent Sean and I to go get him. We went downstairs and asked some neighbors if they'd seen him. "In the pub," one of the neighbor's replied. Sean and I sighed. Dah never did drink much, but we didn't want to have to go and get him anyway.

We hurried through the foreign streets and came across a nearby pub. We peeked through the glass window, our breath fogging up the glass. We saw Dah drinking with some other men we didn't know. They were smoking. We weren't allowed to go in, so we tapped on the glass trying to get Dah's attention. One of his friends looked over at us and nudged Dah. Dah yelled for us to go home. We kept standing there, trying to yell that Ma needed you to come home. He wouldn't listen. Sean and I ran home and told Ma. She told us to get to bed and she would deal with it. We pretended to sleep and opened our eyes to Ma and Dah arguing in hushed tones. Dah's voice sounds funny, all slurred and slow as if he's talking in his sleep. Ma grabs him by the ear and pulls him to bed. She takes off his shoes and hat. I can tell she is worn out. Dah passes out right away. I wait for Ma to fall asleep before I turn to Sean, confused. "He's drunk," Sean tells me. I just nod sleepily and fall asleep, thinking Dah will be better again tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

October 14

I have never felt more completely lost. And humiliated, far beyond blushing. Why? Because I've been insulted by a seven-year old. Katie, Sean, Michael, and I are playing in the alley by our tenement. Some American kids cornered us and made fun of our accents when we tried talking to them. I was miserable. Michael had been playing with a paper airplane Seamus had made for him earlier today. But an older American boy stole it from him and ripped it up. Michael knelt to the ground, picking up the pieces of the shredded paper, holding in his tears. Katie, Sean, and I fumed with anger and threatened them. They just laughed and said, "Go back to Ireland, ya Paddies. We don't want ya here. Youse is the reason our pa's outta work." Sean's face screamed with rage, and he tackled the older boy, knocking him to the ground. Sean pounded his fist into the boy's face shouting, "_Ná leomh tú glaoch a chur orainn go! Tá rud a dhéanamh le do dah a bheith as obair agus tá súil agam go mbainfidh tú sruthán i ifreann a rá rudaí den sórt sin_!" My jaw dropped, shocked at Sean's language. I covered Katie's ears. The boy's Ma came around the corner and screamed, calling for the police that Sean was murdering her son. Sean grabbed Katie and Michael's hands and took off back to the tenement, with me hurrying behind them. Ma never found out what happened, or she would've punished Sean.

Later that night

Mary found out about what Sean did. She says he is a fool. He should not be beating the crap out of the American boys because they insult us. That he should handle it in a mature way, like a girl. But Sean and I aren't girls, so we'd prefer to beat them up. And then she quotes Scripture for five minutes like Jillian does and I am so mad I argue back each time:

Mary: A fool remains a fool.  
Me: There's an exception to every rule.  
Mary: Better to be a wise person in hell than a fool in paradise.  
Me: This is paradise, Mary? This rotten little apartment with smelly Mr. O'Reilly and nasty kids who pick on us!

Then Mary got mad and turned red. I didn't know what she might do, but she went to the cupboard and poured something into a spoon. She came back and in the nastiest, meanest voice she said, "Taste this." And I was so scared I opened my mouth. It was honey. I was surprised completely. "Don't look like such a block-head. You are a _leathcheann," _she said_. _I swallowed the sweetness, for I rarely got to taste honey. Mary must have read my thoughts. "In America, they have honey everywhere." I saw Killian watching us and her eyes filled with tears. I knew she would rather be staying home with me and the little ones than working in the shop with Mary and the twins. I felt bad in spite of the honey in my mouth.

October 16

Oh, glory. I brim with _sonas_. I know the word in English now: happiness. Guess what? A girl just my age moved down the hall from us with her family. She is shorter than I am. Her name is Tessarose. Tessarose FitzCane. She says call her Tess for short. She is from Dublin, Ireland, so she has the same accent as us. She lives behind the second door on the left to us. So we get along because, of course, we speak the same language.

October 17

Tess and I walked home today through the Pig Market. I had to pick up some turnips and some fresh-ground horseradish for Ma for celebrating her and Dah's anniversary, which they haven't celebrated in two years. Now that the older kids in our family are working all day long I get sent on a lot of errands. Ma is still scared to go out by herself. We had some extra pennies so we bought some pickles to eat and some soda water. We sat on the corner of Hester and Ludlow and ate our pickles and sipped our soda right in front of the soda shop. We can understand English pretty well and try to speak to each other in English as much as we can to practice. I told her about my family and not to worry about the soda or the pickles cause I paid for them. What? It's not like I like her or anything. I did a very good imitation of how Mr. O'Reilly eats. Tess says I should be an actor. It's easy to imitate Mr. O'Reilly. He sorta munches his lips along with the food. Amazing he has any lips left.

We went to back to the tenement and into the room where her family lives. She has an older brother named Charles and an older sister, Elizabeth. I've learned quickly that Charles is a lot like Sean. He likes to torture and tease us. Elizabeth is a different character. She's not as dizzy as my sister Mary, but she is something else. She loves animals and gives me a tight hug. She thinks I'm adorable. I do not like being called adorable. Then there's a baby boy just six months old named Christopher, and she has a four-year old brother named William. I have yet to meet her eight year old sister, Brigid, who is under the weather. Tess is a month older than me but we are both twelve. Her father has a pushcart. He sells suspenders mostly. He was a photographer back in Dublin and took pictures of fancy people. Weddings and dignitaries. It is sad for men to have to come here and do something so different. Like Dah. His first love was the fiddle and music. Now here is Dah, no music, dust on the fiddle (except for Michael's birthday), and working on the railroad. At least Uncle Kyle, Ma's brother, works at a book store.

November 4

It's been awhile, huh? Good news! Mary says that I am making very good progress in learning English and that there is a chance I will be speaking it before Christmas. We study every afternoon after I run errands and sometimes in the evenings. I prefer studying at our house in the evenings as I find Tess' dah somewhat strange, well, not strange just cold. He always has his nose buried in a newspaper, and if the baby cries he says to his wife, "Make it stop." "It," he calls his own child. "It." Is that not strange? "It" is a little boy named Christopher.

P.S. I should be able to study harder now that I am going on less and less errands. More time, less food. After we only had cabbage soup all last week, I had felt as if my brains had floated out of my head. I guess that is what they mean when they say one feels light-headed.

November 6

When I was in the lavatory this morning I heard the O'Keefe's yelling as usual and I finally understood one English word. No, two. "Little Protestant." It was the old grandmother and she really spat the words out. When I came out of the lavatory Mrs. O'Keefe was running down the hall crying and the grandmother was glaring at her. The grandmother looks awful. She has no teeth, so her face collapses around her mouth. There is no mouth, really, just a dark hole that is sucked in and spits out words. Mr. O'Keefe just stood in the doorway looking one second at his wife and the next at his mother as if he didn't know which side to choose. Then he started coughing and went inside. He's very sickly looking. I would hate to be married to a girl who was like that - sick, and can't make up her mind. But he should be on his wife's side.

November 9

Am I not good writing this first time in English? Here is what I want to say. There is a boy who is a true pain. His name is Henry Sheperdson. And guess what nickname he goes by? Skittery.

I have to switch back to Irish Gaelic now because I am not fluent enough to tell you how really annoying this boy is. He got here a year ago and he is already speaking English better than me. He thinks he knows everything. He is Kiley and Riley's age. And he's at least three inches taller than me and Tess. Now here's the problem. He's invited over to help us repair our fire escape. Says he's real good with repairing stuff. Here's how he talks: "I got this connection with a newsie from Harlem who says he'll soak any copper who tries to arrest any kid and throw 'em in the refuge. Only suckers think that's a nice place, but I ain't heard 'a nobody that came 'outta there in good condition, unless you're a scab who'll do anything the warden tells ya to." Just at that minute, Kiley walks up. She says to him in perfect English, "Oh sure, of course, anyone who dares to soak a copper is a tightwad." I'm shocked she knows English slang. In fact, I didn't understand half of what she said. They start babbling away in English in front of Tess and me. I felt it was very rude. Then he turns to me and says something in English that I don't understand but later Kiley translated. He said your sister is a "smart cookie," meaning Kiley because of her good English. "Smart cookie!" What a stupid expression. Something tells me that English is going to be somewhat of a disappointment after Gaelic.


	5. Chapter 5

In spite of Skittery, we did have fun playing hide and go seek outside. Skittery and Kiley seemed to be talking a lot to each other in English. Ma gets weary of him being around Kiley so much. I promised Ma I would beat that boy up if he hurts Kiley. Ma just ruffled my hair and said, "Bless you, child." I think that was just another stupid way of saying "you're adorable."

Mary has joined a union, whatever that means. She and Jillian go to union meetings and discuss the issues of the world and the terrible conditions of the sweatshops. Killian took me to the market again today to pick up a few things. Guess what? Ma announced to us that she is going to have a baby! I hope it's a boy, then Liam, Sean, Michael and I won't be so outnumbered. I hardly see Seamus anymore, even though he and Patsy live close by. Jillian and Justin downstairs sometimes come by. As we were walking by the shops I learned some more English words. While we walked passed a sewing shop, I saw a help wanted sign in the window. Then Killian stiffened and pulled me away from the shop quickly. I had only a second to glance at the sign underneath. It said NO IRISH NEED APPLY. It seems sad to see such a sign in such a free country. Killian sniffles a little, and I hold her hand, it's the least I can do for my big sister.

When we get back, Mary is cooking stew and bouncing a wailing Liam on her hip. I find Michael and Katie playing on the ground. Kaitlin is sleeping amidst the noise. The twins aren't home yet, neither is Ma or Da. Mr. O'Reilly is visiting family in Manhattan for the week. Killian rushes over to take Liam from Mary's arms. I hand Mary the groceries and she gives me a quick hug. The door opens and Sean steps in, his newsboy cap pulled low over his eyes and his shirt collar pulled up over his mouth and nose. Huh. It's not cold out.

He tries to sneak by, but Killian looks up and frowns. "Sean, get your arse over here," she yells to him. He sighs and walks over to his older sister. Killian is scowling deeply and she pulls his cap off and his shirt collar down. Mary and Killian both gasp. I furrow my eyebrows. Sean's upper lip is busted and bleeding, and his right eye is black and blue and bruised. "Sean, what happened to you?" Mary asks, setting the soup down and drying her hands on her apron. She grabs the cold meat from the grocery bag and slams it on his eye.

"Did you get in a fight again?" Killian asks, a threatening tone in her voice. Mary is a lot more gentle. Sean shakes his head. "Not really," he mumbles.

"Well, did you at least hit the kid back?" Killian asks, crossing her arms.

Sean glares at her. "I can't do that," he mutters quietly. "It's not easy,"

"Then who is it? I will pound this kid!" Killian yells, her face raging.

Sean sighs. "It's not a kid," he says as Mary dabs the blood from his cracked lip. "It's my boss." Mary looks shocked. She begins muttering Scripture again, saying how grown men should never lay a hand on innocent children. Sean begs us not to tell Ma, cause he doesn't want to upset her. Mary bites her lip.

That evening after supper, Ma went up to the next floor to comfort young Mrs. O'Keefe. Dah still wasn't home yet, and my older sisters were busy talking in hushed whispers at the table and giggling. I rolled my eyes. Katie was sound asleep and so was Michael. Liam and Kaitlin were with Ma. I turn to Sean and whisper quietly, "Why did your boss hit you?"

Sean's good eye stares at me, and I can see it watering a bit. Sean's never cried in front of me. "It doesn't matter, Aidan. Go back to sleep." he whispers back angrily. I try to fall back asleep, but I can't. I turn back to him. "Please? I'm good at keeping secrets, even from Ma." I beg. Sean looks at me as if trying to see if I'm lying or not. He finally whispers quietly, "I was three minutes late, Aidan. Only three," he says, his voice rising a bit, "I tried to tell him that I had to help out with Kaitlin and Liam, but he-" his voice was shaky and cracked. He touched his bruised eye and cut lip, which quivered a bit. I waited for him to continue talking, but he never did. He just began closing his eyes and cursing in a low and quiet voice. I tapped on him. He opened his eyes and glared at me, anger quickly filling his eyes that are identical to mine from the previous hurt that filled them. "Fuck up, and let me sleep, Aidan. I can't be late again." he said in a dangerous tone.

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to force myself to sleep, but I couldn't. I slept for about thirty minutes and opened my eyes. The girls were all in bed and so were Liam and Kaitlin. Ma sat at the table, probably waiting up for Da. His work didn't go for this long and by the expression on her face, she knew it. Suddenly the door burst open and a shadowy figure walked in.

Dah stumbled in, and I almost didn't recognize him. He was smiling dumbly and singing Daisy. He grabbed the coat rack and began dancing with it. Ma shot up and grabbed it out of his hands. "Where have you been, you silly old man?" she yelled in a hushed tone. Dah just looked at her and roared with laughter. His face turned red with laughter. It wasn't his usual laughter. It was strange. I got a bit scared and cuddled up next to Sean who was sound asleep. I noticed Katie grab my arm, she was now awake.

Ma pushed Dah over to bed. He turned to face her, his jolly expression now a raging glare. "Don't push me woman! I am the HEAD OF THE HOUSE!" he screamed the last part. Michael opened his eyes. Ma crossed her arms and rushed to tuck little Michael back into bed. "You'll wake the children!" she whispered angrily.

Dah roared with laughter again. "I have children?!" he asked. By the expression on his face, I knew he really believed he didn't. Sean was now awake, too. "These are my children?" Dah yelled again, stumbling over to us. He tore the blankets from our beds. Kaitlin woke up and began crying,which woke Liam up. Great.

Mary and Killian rushed to help Ma with Kaitlin and Liam. Kiley hugged Michael and Katie in a blanket. Riley climbed over to our bed. Dah looked at Sean more closely and laughed. "Your eye looks funny," he said. We had told Ma that Sean had been hit by a baseball. Sean scrunched his eyebrows, also confused by Dah's behavior. His words sounded like he was talking in his sleep again. Kaitlin was crying longer than baby Liam was. Dah covered his ears. "Make it stop!" he yelled. My eyes went wide. That's what Tess' father said about her crying brother. I never imagined Dah would ever say that. He walked over to Kaitlin, and grabbed her shoulders, shaking them. "Silence, girl!" I could smell whisky on his breath. Mary swooped in and grabbed Kaitlin away from him. Ma crept up behind him, and struck him across the head with a frying pan. His eyes rolled back and he collapsed to the floor. The twins gasped and bit their lip. Ma dragged Dah's unconscious body to his bed. She turned to us, all staring at her, shocked. "Well? What are you all staring at? Go to bed!" she said in a tired voice. We just stared at her. "NOW!" Ma sounded dangerous, so we all quickly picked up the covers Dah had thrown off and got into bed.

Michael pulled on Sean's sleeve. "Can you fix Dah?" he whispered, his eyes glistening. Sean shook my head. "I promise," Sean whispered back. Michael's lip quivered. A tear fell from Katie's eye and Michael wiped it away. "Don't cry, Katie. Seany says he'll fix Dah," Katie nodded and hugged him. I even heard the twins and Killian sniffle a bit. With all the crying, I felt like crying myself. But I didn't. I was like Sean, I could be tough too. Crying was for the girls...and Liam. But I will teach Liam to be tough, too.


	6. Chapter 6

Ma is getting ill. The baby is due in three months. Everyday Sean went to work, and everyday he came back with new bruises. We were running out of baseball games to use for excuses. Somehow, a "little bird" (Mary) told Ma how Sean was getting all beat up. Then Ma cried over Sean, and called him a poor innocent lamb, and she called him lots of other names, too, but she didn't mean anything insulting by it. She then began fussing over me, keeping me home from running errands because she was afraid men would beat on me, too. All I could do was stay home and feel like a girl helping Ma around the tenement. I felt all cramped up. Well, then she commenced again. Ma began calling us all to supper as a family again, like back home. And we had to come to supper on time. When we got to the table, we couldn't go right to eating, but we had to wait for Ma to tuck down her head and grumble over the victuals.

After supper, she got out her precious Bible from home and read to us about David and Goliath. I was eager to find out all about them. Then I realized David had been dead for a long time, and so I lost interest. Oh and good news! Mr. O'Reilly decided to move in with his family out of town! How nice.

Then Mary and Killian took the twins to a union meeting, much against Ma's wishes. Patsy and Seamus took Michael and Katie to the park to "get their energy out" as Ma called it. Ma went to visit young Mrs. O'Keefe about her upcoming baby. So all who was in the house were Liam, knawing happily on the end of Mary's hairbrush, and Kaitlin, who was humming some nursrey rhyme and annoying the hell out of Sean. I fiddled with Killian's book about science. It was near five o'clock. The door flew open and in strolled Dah. He had shut the door, too. I had become scared of him, his mood changed so much nowadays. I was scared now. Sean and I froze. We stood a-looking at him, and he stood a-looking at us. Kaitlin crawled into my arms and sniffled. She wasn't humming anymore. Dah sat down at the table, his chair tilted back a little. An eery silence passed. Finally he says, "Not at work - are youse? You think you can get away with staying home?" he asks Sean.

"It's Sunday, Dah. No work today." Sean reminded him. I said nothing. Dah's face contorted into a goulish grin.

"Don't you give me none o' ya lip," he growls. "You think sassing back to you're father is alright? I'll take you down a level before I get done with you." He whipped around and glared at me. "And you and your brothers and sisters are educated, too. Reading and writing in English. Ya think ya better 'n yer old father, now don't you, cause I can't? _I'll _take it out of you. Who told you you could meddle with such hifalutin' foolishness anyway?"

"M-Ma. She taught us. A-and Mary, and K-Killian," I curse myself for stuttering.

"Yer Ma? And yer sisters? Who told them they could shovel worthless bits of knowledge in yer brains? Hmm?"

"N-nobody,"

"Well, I'll teach them not to meddle with my sons' minds. Youse ain't gonna be studyin' like girls, but out workin' and earnin' me money." He pointed to Sean and me. "You lemme catch youse studyin' again. I can't read or write in English. Say, lemme hear ya read."

Sean picked up a book about The American Revolution and began to read it outloud. Dah whacked it out of his hands. "So it's true," he says. "Ya can read. I had doubts. I won't have no sons of mine being all scholarly. Bad, horrible, terrible things will happen if ya do, I'll make sure of that. If I catch ya readin' anythin' in English, I'll beat ya good. Both of youse. Next thing I know, youse is gonna be takin' up religion."

He took Mary's book from my hands and held it up. "Physics, huh? Bullshit!" he ripped up the pages. "Tomorrow, Aidan, youse start work at the factory with Sean!"

"But-" I started. Dah raised his hand and smacked me across the face. Kaitlin gasped and buried her face in Sean's shirt. Liam began crying. AGAIN. I was shocked. Dah never hit me. Or anyone in my family. Maybe he was drunk again. Sean picked Kaitlin up and hurried over to Dah. "Alright, he'll work with me tomorrow, Dah." Dah nodded. "He better if he knows what's good for him." Dah grumbled. He then pointed to Liam and turned to Sean. "Shut it up," and then he walked back out the door. Ma would not be pleased about this.


	7. Chapter 7

I tied Katie's shoes tight for her. "So, you think we'll make some friends?" she asked me. I looked up at her and smiled.

"Sure we will," I said, standing back up. We were going to go down to the neighborhood Church. And, for the first time as well, we were speaking back and forth in English. We had also begun to speak with street slang we had learned from Skittery. Neat, right?

"Well, maybe there'll be some cute boys." she said dreamily. I rolled my eyes. "Or girls, for you." she winked. I smacked her upside the head playfully.

"Come on children, you don't want to be late for Church." Ma said in English but with her thick Irish accent breaking through. It was harder for her because she hadn't really grown up here. Mary, Killian, the twins, Sean, Katie, Michael, Kaitlin, Liam, and I followed her out of the tenement. Patsy and Seamus were going to meet us there. Jillian is pregnant, and Justin is working double shifts down at the docks. Unfortunately Jillian and Justin couldn't come with us today.

Dah met us outside. "Hey!" he waved. He smiled at us. Ma just held his hand and smiled. We kids were a bit more reluctant. Even though he wasn't drunk today, we still were a little scared of him.

"Dah?" Kiley looked nervous.

"Hey, Riley." Dah said, patting her on the back.

Kiley rolled her eyes. "I'm Kiley, she's Riley." she said, pointing to her sister. Dah frowned. Kiley quickly changed the subject. "You gonna go to Mass with us?" See, Dah had been gone all last night, probably working the late shift at his job.

"Of course I am. I missed my family." He turned to Ma. "Lissie, can I talk to you for a minute?" Ma put Mary and Killian in charge of us while she stepped off to the side with Dah. I edged closer to listen to what they were saying. "You know, I've been talking to my boss and he says that maybe I can get that promotion this year, and maybe you could start working extra hours at the shop. Then maybe we could make enough money to move us and the kids into a real house."

"I told you already that I can't do it anymore. I'm already working late as it is, and so do Mary, Killian, the twins, and Sean. And I couldn't leave Aidan and Katie all alone to watch the babies."

"Maybe Patsy and Seamus will watch them." Dah said, crossing his arms.

"I couldn't ask for them to do that. They also work late. And I couldn't trouble Jillian and Justin, they're struggling to raise their own family. I doubt any of the neighbors have time to watch them either." Ma gestured over to us. "They haven't even had a chance to make friends down here yet."

Dah shook his head. "Lissie, maybe we wouldn't fight as much, without the kids."

Suddenly, Riley came up behind me and called, "Ma?" Ma and Dah both turned to her.

Ma nodded to Riley. "Tell your brothers and sisters to go on ahead and attend church and then come straight home. I've gotta settle things with your father." Dah smiled at her.

Riley frowned and clutched Ma's Bible. She took my hand and told Mary and Killian the instructions. We shuffled into Mass as the pipe organ began to play. The congregation sat down, and we quickly filled up two pews in the back. We could feel the eyes of all the American parishioners on us. It came time for the homily and the priest stood and walked over to the pulpit. "See what love the Father has given us," he began.

A baby began crying, and I realized it was Liam, "and we are called children of God," the priest continued, "and so we are! But how does a child come on to his father? How does the father come on to the child?" Mary bounced baby Liam on her knee and tried to shush him. "Christ said: I am the way. The truth, the life and love. No man comes on to the Father but by me." Katie and Michael began fidgeting and fighting in hushed whispers. Killian looked over and told them to knock it off. Liam kept crying. Patsy tried to help Mary with Liam, and Seamus stepped in and separated Michael and Katie. As the priest continued with his sermon, Mary and Patsy had to take Liam outside the Church. Then Michael dropped his cap in the middle of the aisle and Kiley picked it up for him. Sean and I exchanged a glance. We looked and saw other families glaring at us, some even trying not to giggle to loudly. I felt humiliated by my family. I noticed a lady in front of us mutter to her husband, "the family behind us has too many children." I wouldn't trade any of my sisters or brothers for anything, though.

After Mass and as the church bells rang, we Conlon kids walked back to the tenement with some other families who also lived there. Mary smiled at some girl she chatted with a little bit before Mass named Hope. "Oh, that's a beautiful dress, Hope." she said to her as she walked by. Hope smiled, but I could tell it was fake.

"Oh, thank you, Mary." she said.

We soon saw Ma waiting for us by the door of the tenement. Patsy and Seamus walked inside, but we stopped at the door. Ma looked a little dazed and she was coughing and shivering something awful. "Are you alright, Mama?" Mary asked while holding baby Liam on one hip.

Ma looked up at her. "Uh...I'm feeling much better, the doctor gave me medicine. It's probably just a little cold. It won't hurt the baby." she said, placing a hand on her stomach. She was due sometime next month. "And...you know, I gotta work tonight. There's sewing needed to be done at the shop. I'd appriciate it if you and Killian and the twins could also work tonight."

Killian and the twins were about to protest but Mary answered before. "We'll do that." She shot a glare at them, and they nodded slowly.

"Thank you." Ma said, coughing again.

"What happened to your eye? It's black and blue." Kaitlin asked Sean, once Ma was gone.

"Don't let Ma hear you ask that, Kaitlin!" Michael reprimanded her lightly.

"It's alright, Ma already knows." Katie said, smiling at Kaitlin.

"So what happened?" Kaitlin asked again in her little high pitched voice.

"I got hit with a baseball." Sean said before any of us could tell her what really happened.

"A baseball?" she asked, her eyes narrowing. "Does that hurt?"

Michael nudged her. "Sean says we shouldn't be worrying about his eye when we should be worrying about Ma's health. She's sick, you know."

"Come on, let's go inside." Riley said, opening the door.

As we walked up the stairs, Killian complained the whole way. "Guess who got stuck with an extra shift at work?" she grumbled to Mary, who rolled her eyes.

"Well, at least we're getting paid," Mary said, carrying Liam up the stairs.

"I can make a little something extra for dinner." Killian offered, trying to make the best of things. Mary turned to her. "Here, take the baby." she said, handing Liam to Killian.

"Can we play outside?" Kiley asked. Mary thought it over.

"We'll be quiet." Riley promised.

Mary nodded. "Alright, make sure of it."

We smiled and raced back down the stairs and outside into the fresh air. Sean, Michael, and I shot marbles by the brick wall. Katie and Kaitlin were playing hopscotch in the alley, while Katie was also singing "Teir Abhaile Rui." Kiley and Riley were doing girl stuff like braiding each other's hair and talking about some boy named 'Racetrack' who had talked to Riley before Church.

"Do you ever miss Ireland?" I asked Sean.

He shot a marble with his slingshot he got from one of the boys from the factory. "Nah, nothin' but famine."

"But, Sean!"

"Well, it's true." the marble hit a glass bottle and shattered it. "America's fine, but our life sucks. Maybe if Dah's more regular with his support to us, Ma wouldn't be so sick and I wouldn't have to work so hard."

"You think Dah will start being normal again?" Katie asked from her game with Kaitlin.

"We ain't supposed to talk about Dah like that." Michael said.

"I wasn't asking you!" Katie said, shoving him slightly.

"Hey, cut it out!" Sean said.

"There, finished!" Riley said, once she finished with a stupid dumb old girly braid in Kiley's hair.

Kiley smiled. "Wow! You should do this for a living."

"Yeah, if she was old enough." Sean said while shooting another marble. "Ma doesn't want you girls to be in the factory."

Kiley ignored him. "You want me to do your hair, Sean?" she asked, sarcastically.

Sean rolled his eyes. "Oh, no thanks, Kiley. Aidan's the pretty one, take him! He's got nice hair!" Sean said in a high-pitched girly voice and shoved me forward. Michael and I laughed as he pretended to be as girly as our sisters. "I'm too proper to get my hair messed up."

"The hell you are!" Kiley said, giggling with Riley and Katie. "Oh, let me see that brush," she said as she began to braid Riley's hair.

Sean turned back to me. "I tell you what? Let's go buy a paper for Dah so he won't be angry when he gets home."

"Sure," I said and followed him.

Sean turned to the others. "You kids behave. I don't want Mary or Killian coming after me with a broom because you caused trouble," he called over his shoulder.

Michael nodded, and Katie and Kaitlin stuck their tongues at Sean, and Kiley and Riley just rolled their eyes and nodded.

Sean ducked upstairs to tell Ma where we were going. "We're gonna buy a paper for Dah."

Ma nodded, folding a pile of laundry from the shop that she took home to do. Mary was helping her and Killian was making supper. "If you happen to see your father tell him he better get home!" Ma called after us. "And don't be wastin' time talking to those textile girls!"

Sean rolled his eyes. "Yes, Ma,"

We hurried back down the stairs and out the door. Sean turned to my confused expression. "Where I work there are some textile girls that Ma doesn't like me hanging around with."

"I can see that." I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets. We heard Katie and Michael arguing again. "Hey, Michael and Katie, quit it!" he called. We noticed old Mrs. O'Keefe had opened her window and was glaring at us. "Sorry, Mrs. O'Keefe." he called up to her. She grunted and shut her window.

Sean and I began walking down the street. We saw Jillian coming down the road. "Hey," she called to us.

"You weren't at church today." Sean said to her sternly.

"Justin and I are heading over there now." she said casually.

"Yeah, you better be." Sean crossed his arms. He was a lot like Ma.

Jillian rolled her eyes and walked to the tenement. Sean turned to me. "Jillian would be a big help around the house when she ain't waistin' time." I shook my head.

"She ain't gotta care for us no more. She's got a family." I reminded him. He just shrugged and pulled me along. We turned down different allies and then came across Dah drinking beer with some friends of his in one of the allies.

"Oh, God," Sean muttered to me. Dah noticed us and smiled.

"Hey, Sean," he said in a cheerful voice.

Sean didn't even look at him. "Ma was askin' for her money." he said to the ground. I stayed close to his side.

Dah drank some more. "I bet she was." His voice slurred, and he began standing up. Dah turned to me and looked confused by the resemblance of Sean and me as he looked from his face to mine. "Who's your friend?" he asked.

I looked to Dah in disbelief, so did Sean. There was no use in trying to help his memory so we decided to play along. "Aidan," Sean said finally. "but he doesn't talk to trash."

Dah smacked him on the head as we walked by. Sean and I quickly left through the back walls.

"Just like his mother," I heard Dah grumble to his friends about Sean. The men laughed.

We quickly bought a paper from a newsboy and brought it home. Ma and Mary were still sewing and washing clothes for the sweatshop. And Mary had finished with the supper. Ma began coughing again, really hard. Liam began crying, so Ma was forced to put down her needle and rush over to his cradle. She picked him up and tried to hush him. I saw Ma do something I hadn't seen her do in a long time. She opened one of Dah's beer bottles and drank nearly half of it. She looked like she was in great pain.

Kiley tried to sneak out the door but Ma looked up just as she opened the door. "Kiley," Ma called. Kiley paused and looked over her shoulder. "I need you to feed Liam. If I don't get this sewing to Mr. Bing by 7:00, I won't get paid." She handed the baby to Kiley.

Kiley sighed. "We're out of milk."

"Well, go get some." Ma said tiredly.

"They won't give us no more free food stamps at the store."

"They will, if you take the baby." Ma reasoned. She turned and went back to her sewing. A knock came at the door and it opened.

"Hello, I'm here to pick up the sewing." A man in a suit said. He invited himself in and gazed around in disgust. Kiley brushed past him with Liam and headed for the store.

"Shut the door!" she called after Kiley, which she did. Ma lit a cigarette, which I knew wasn't good for the baby but I didn't want to talk back to her in front of this man.

"Looks like you have kids running in and out of here all day." the man said, frowning.

Ma took a drag from the cigarette and then a swig of whiskey. I grimaced. She handed him the sewed clothes, and he tossed her two dollars. "Expect higher payment, Mrs. Conlon," the man said smiling, "You are getting the sewing down quickly."

Ma smiled and nodded. "I'll need that money."

The man then left. Ma took another drink. I didn't like where this was going.


	8. Chapter 8

I was woken up this morning very early. Opening my eyes, I saw Sean looking down at me. "C'mon, get up." He said, already dressed.

I shook my head to rid the fogginess of sleep from my brain. "Am I gonna work with you at the factory today?" I asked him. Sean tossed me an apple for breakfast and nodded once to me. I then remembered why, how Dah was drunk and told me he didn't want to be studying but out earning money. I was a little excited, I guess. I could finally be like the older kids and help bring home money.

"Sean," I said, he looked up from tying his shoes, his eye was still bruised from the "baseball game." "Your boss...he won't hit me, right?"

Sean turned pale suddenly, and he shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe."

I gulped. "But you won't let that happen, right?" I asked in hopes of him sticking up for me. When Sean didn't answer right away, I got worried. Would he really just abandon me to the mercy of his boss?

Sean sighed. "Yeah, I guess." I wasn't so sure.

-later-

The smoke stopped coming out of my machine; it just stopped working. I groaned. I had let too much cotton filter into the sifter. I tapped on Sean and silently begged him to fix it. Sean whispered he didn't know how to, and I whispered back that I could get into trouble.

"Silence!" the foreman's voice boomed behind us. "There's no talking allowed. What were you two talking about?" he demanded, placing a hand on my shoulder and adding pressure to cause pain.

"He wasn't talking, sir." Sean said quickly coming to my defense. "The machine broke because I accidentally knocked into it. I'm sorry, sir." I blinked twice. He was really protecting me.

The foreman's grip on my shoulder slowly released. His face turned dark with anger. Sean flinched as the foreman's hand came down on him, hard. "It only takes a second to fire you, boy, keep that in mind." The foreman walked away to another kid.

"I'm sorry," I mouthed to Sean, he didn't even look at me. This was my fault, and he knew it.

-that evening-

I feel as though I might cry. Dah yelled at little Michael for tracking mud into the house. He spanked Michael so hard that he couldn't sit down for dinner without crying. Ma's eyes watered and she looked over at Dah and asked him if that was necessary. Dah just smiled at her and nodded saying that it's for the best that they discipline us. Ma just nodded and I saw a tear stream down her face every time Michael muffled a small cry of pain.

Ma asked Dah for some money to buy us food with. Dah shook his head and said she'd better be joking. After supper, Dah picked up Liam who was sleeping in his cradle. Dah smiled and carried him in such a way that I feared he would fall.

"Leave him," Ma said sternly. Liam began crying. Ma got up, and walked over to them. "Put him back down." When Dah made no such movement, Ma took the baby from his arms and set Liam back in the cradle. "It took me all day to quiet him." Dah smirked and placed his hand on Ma's back. Ma stiffened and flinched. "Not in front of the children."

"They don't care." he said. "I was wondering if I could borrow a few dollars."

Mary and Killian had left with Kaitlin and Katie to go and get some material for Ma to sew with. The twins sat at the table, reading. Sean and I were playing with Michael, whose backside still hurt.

"I ain't payin' for you to get drunk!" Ma shouted at Dah, who slapped her across the face. Ma gasped and brought her hand to her cheek. The twins glanced up, and then left to go read out in the hall. They knew better than to interfere.

"I'm sorry, Lissie," Dah said, leaning in towards Ma, who flinched away. Dah began unbuttoning her shirt, and she looked over at us three. "Go play outside." she said. We got up and left the room quickly on shaky legs. An hour later, we came back to Ma smoking, and Dah waiting for us at the table. Ma was counting money we had left. Liam was crying. Dah shot Ma a glare, and Mary hurried to hush Liam.

"Everyone to bed." Ma said quietly. We all began to do as she said.

Dah glared at Sean and me. "Except for you two." he said in a whisper. "I want you to step out into the hall." Ma's eyes were red and puffy.

Sean and I exchanged confused looks and then we walked out into the hall. "You weren't paid today from the factory." Dah began. We weren't paid because of the machine and talking thing.

"Oh, we were talking, and the foreman got mad. That's all." Sean spoke up.

"You know what I think?" Dah asked sternly. "I think you two are just lazy and don't care about helping out your own family."

"We wouldn't do that." Sean said softly.

"Keep your mouth shut!" Dah began to unbuckle his gleaming belt around his waist. We both looked at him, he'd never beaten us before. Dah pointed to some crates that had been in the hallway belonging to the landlord. "Lean over those. Go on, lean over."

Sean and I exchanged a look, and then leaned over and grabbed the other end of the crate tightly. Dah struck me first. I cried out in pain and most nearly fell over. The belt stung me on the back and across the shoulder right where the foreman had gripped strongly. Dah tried pulling me back up.

"Come on!" Dah yelled, pulling my arm. "Come on," I felt the tears spilling down my cheeks. "Get up!"

"Dah!" Sean shouted, trying to get Dah to stop hurting me.

"No, let go of me," My back stung.

"I can take his, Dah." Sean said shakily. Dah let go of me and moved behind Sean. Dah swung even harder than he had at me. Sean yelped slightly but bit his lip to keep from shouting. The second blow was loud and echoed off the walls. Sean's eyes were cloudy but he didn't cry.

"Okay," Dah said, grabbing him up by his shirt. Dah ruffled Sean's hair but he flinched and ducked away. Dah turned Sean's chin so he could look him in the eyes. "I need that money, boy. What you two make at the factory means life or death." Sean nodded.

Dah put his belt back on. "You mention one word of this to your mama, and you'll be sorry." Dah said, and walked back inside.

I pulled myself up, and Sean helped me, cringing from the pain. "Come on, Aidan," Sean said as he pulled me up. "It's not like we've never been hit before. You know, we won't talk tomorrow and we won't make the foreman mad. It'll be okay."

We walked back into the flat and got into bed, trying to hide the pain. Ma asked Dah what happened and he just said Sean and I shot marbles with him and it was fun. Ma believed him. I wanted to cry and tell her the truth, but Sean shot me a glance and shook his head. I stifled my cries and fell asleep.


End file.
